three months on-the-road : the power of solitude
Thursday, October 14, 2010 at 01:10PM When I headed out on this journey, I quickly realized one thing: I needed to be alone. I had no idea why, and I wasn't about to question the whispers of the universe or the evolving path. An almost unearthly force seemed to guide me, and I wasn't about to stand in its way. I was starving for something, but what exactly...?
Little did I know my journey of solitude would be so powerful and healing? I had no idea how much I needed to be alone until I was. There is a profound sense of freedom in the stillness of solitude. Quiet nights in nature with my thoughts: dreaming, reflecting, soul searching. Now, my soul is wide open. The feeling is hard to describe. I can't stop smiling. My heart seems to dance. I breathe more deeply. I feel giddy, with a deep sense of peace.
Solitude creates openness and teaches you to appreciate simple moments: the ripple of a stream, the strength of wind, a moody sky, the smell of pine, the vivid hues of nature, morning dew, birds singing, otters laughing, lulu snoring (haha). Embracing solitude creates joy. Joy is present when you let yourself appreciate the importance of the experience -- to be present.
I wasn't sad, angry, lost, or broken when I departed NYC. I built a successful, happy life filled with dear friends, nice clothes, big parties, fun dating, charity work, my inspiring Boys of Beth Abe, and the love of my family. I spent summers in the Hamptons & Newport and wintered in Stratton, VT, with my best friends snowboarding every weekend. It was beautiful, but something was missing. I had a great life, so what's wrong with me? I kept piling on work and charity events. I even signed up for a marathon in London and almost went to Uganda with Habitat for Humanity, but I got rattled by the unrest. I was searching to fill the void – hoping to find that magic bullet. Life got harried. I desperately needed to re-center, slow down and simplify. But how? What would Blake do? Blake and the boys have been my greatest inspiration from the moment I met them. I know my time spent with those courageous young men gave me the strength to look inward, pull the plug, and pursue my wildest dreams. Thank you, Blake, Jermaine, and Jonathon. I will forever and always be grateful to you. You are in my heart every day -- my Boys of Beth Abe.
Take a few minutes and give yourself the gift of solitude. Turn down the noise. Turn off the phone and sit alone. Think, dream, listen -- you'll be amazed at what you will learn about yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson has always spoken to me. Here's a quote from his essay Nature: "To go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society. I am not solitary whilst I read and write, though nobody is with me. But if a man would be alone, let him look at the stars.
There is no doubt I will be a different person. A deeper, more reflective, more content, and spiritually happy person. I accept all of the wisdom and learning will be evident later as this experience will take time to sink in and weave together. I feel reborn, but it's still too early to define. This journey is evolving organically. It's only been three months! I will continue to let my heart guide me. I wish I could share all of the moments – maybe someday. Although I think I'll need to retain a lawyer first (not kidding). You have no idea what goes on, on-the-road! :)
So many people ask me when I'm coming back or when this trip will end. I can't answer that. My journey is about more than time spent or places seen. I'll settle down when I'm ready. I'm not ready. :)
Reflecting on the shores of Lake McDonald in Glacier National Park. A place, a dream and a moment come true.
Reader Comments (4)
"Fair quiet I have found thee here
And comfort, thy companion dear?
Mistaken long, I sought you then
In busy companies of men.
Society is all but rude
To this delicious solitude."
abbreviated Andrew Marvell (c. 1660)
(words I keep near)
continued safe travels xoxo
Incredible PLee. Only you.Think of you often. xoxoxo
" Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us. A day away acts as a spring tonic. It can dispel rancor, transform decision, and renew the spirit" Maya Angelou from her book, Wouldn't take nothing for my journey now!
Amen for the whispers my love and for your sweet loving soul that listened to what the universe and God was giving you! Thank you for being my whispering friend, that yes God and universe GAVE ME, xoxo!
freelance writer